


Greater Than Paradise

by ApsarasDhari



Category: Dark (TV 2017)
Genre: Coming of Age, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Apocalypse, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApsarasDhari/pseuds/ApsarasDhari
Summary: His older self had warned him, but when he saw her, it just made sense. Something in those eyes of hers pulled him more firmly than the promise of paradise ever had. In that exact moment he lowered his guard, something he didn’t think he was capable of doing, not after the heinous crimes he had committed. He had been so wrong. We're not free in what we do, because we're not free in what we want. He understood, right before hell wiped out life, that he was meant to protect her.
Relationships: Elisabeth Doppler/Noah | Hanno Tauber
Comments: 23
Kudos: 62





	1. Full Circle

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction of this couple who stole my heart. A story that will go through several stages, from the beginning to the consummation of their relationship. I plan to update once a week (between 3500 and 4500 words), depending on the response that this fanfiction has. I would love to read your comments. English is not my first language, but my lovely husband helped me to fix some mistakes. Thanks a lot for reading.

It was dark. Paradise was the only light.

A place free from pain and suffering. A place where he could see his family again. In a world thrown into chaos and darkness, that was the only thing worth fighting for anymore. There was nothing left in his time than loneliness and death. Working towards a greater purpose gave meaning to his life. Adam’s prophecy would be fulfilled, and paradise would open before his eyes.

_“If you knew what I know now, you wouldn’t do what you must, which enables me to get to this moment.”_

That’s why he didn’t question his orders and followed each of his instructions to the letter. While they seemed simple enough on paper, and were few and far between, they would require everything from him. As the most dedicated of followers, Noah travelled through time for the first time, to the year 2020. A lesser driven man would have been terrified, and rightfully so, but not him. Noah didn’t even hesitate. At this point, he felt he had nothing to lose. So, he took his time to give the Stranger the letter from Martha. No rush at all. It didn't matter that the apocalypse was fast approaching. Eventually, the pieces would fit perfectly.

His face was unflappable all the way to the bunker. There was no panic or anxiety, only determination. It was true that he did not fully know the plan that awaited him, but he did know the purpose. That was all he needed. With a goal in mind, the paths would be revealed bit by bit. As he approached his destination, an intense feeling washed over him, guiding his steps. Something important was about to happen, and he couldn’t blame the apocalypse.

There were four people in the shelter when he opened the door, but he only saw one of them.

And then, there it was. There _she_ was.

His older self had warned him, but when he saw her, it just made sense. Something in those eyes of hers pulled him more firmly than the promise of paradise ever had. In that exact moment he lowered his guard, something he didn’t think he was capable of doing, not after the heinous crimes he had committed. He had been so wrong.

He understood, right before hell wiped out life, that he was meant to protect her.

∞∞∞

_“Stay close. Follow them if necessary, but do not try to join them. Her father won’t trust you. There’s nothing you can do about it except wait.” Noah said with an imperative tone that left no room for doubt._

_“Wait for what?” Hanno struggled to ask, suspecting that he wouldn’t like the answer._

_“His murder.” He replied solemnly, like a promise. It was then that Hanno's heart contracted. His father's face still haunted him. “I know what this means to you. I’ve been there, as will you. It will pass.”_

_“What will happen next? Do I take her with me?” Hanno struggled for words to his older self._

_“That won’t be needed. She’ll come to you. You just have to show her the way.”_

So, it had happened.

She was stained with blood, shaking uncontrollably, clinging to herself as a last resort to feel safe. And in the middle of all of that, there was pain. Pure, raw pain. He had seen that look before, in a dream or a nightmare. It was the look that had settled on him after his mother’s death. A broken gesture that he had desperately tried to bury. Taking his father’s life had only made it worse. It was the pain he had refused to look at, but now was finally confronting in someone else’s eyes.

He knew this would happen, but he didn’t expect it to hurt him as much as it did. There was something terribly wrong about it. He couldn’t explain why it horrified him. Suffering was not a strange feeling for him. He had even gotten used to it. But for some reason he couldn't accept it in her. And the worst part is that even though he had been told there were things he shouldn't interfere with, he couldn't help but to wish he had been there to spare her that pain.

Maybe he still could do something. Anything.

Without taking his eyes off the girl, Noah gently lowered the flashlight to the ground. A faint flash lit the surroundings like a subtle cloak. He raised his hands in surrender and approached slowly to avoid disturbing her.

“It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you.” He spoke slow and precise, so that she could read his lips.

The girl barely blinked, paralyzed. She offered no resistance to his approach, but she didn’t take her eyes off him either.

Noah knelt by her side and tried to figure out how to say what he wanted.

“You are safe now” he signed to the best of his ability. He wanted her to trust him, but it would take time and care.

Slowly, he brought one of his hands inside his coat. A harmless gesture, but one that made the girl back a few inches. To reassure her, Noah showed her what he had reached for: a handkerchief.

“I’m just going to clean” He said, making the clean sign with the hand he had available. He still remembered something from his mother's lessons.

As if he was touching glass, Noah wiped the blood from the girl's face. He hoped she tried to communicate with him in some way, but she didn't. She stayed still the entire time, barely making the sound of her own breathing.

When he was done, he tried something else. He unwrapped a sleeping bag that he had set aside for when she arrived and patted it repeatedly to indicate where she would sleep. At first, she lowered her gaze with disinterest, but with the passing of the minutes, fatigue conquered her, and she had no choice but to accept the hospitality and lie down in the sleeping bag.

Noah took one last look at her before turning off the light. It had been more than enough for one day. Tomorrow they would have the energy to fight one more day in a war that had just begun.

It had been more than an hour since they settled down to sleep, when Noah felt one of his shoulders being shaken. He didn't need to open his eyes to know it was her. She had a terrified look overshadowing her innocence, her face white as paper, and her eyes glistening with tears. It was as if she had awakened suffocated.

“What is it?” Noah asked modulating carefully.

In response to his reaction, she handed him her notepad looking down in embarrassment.

_May I sleep next to you?_

He nodded without thinking twice. It didn't take much intelligence to realize that it had been a difficult decision for her to approach him. She needed consoling and he wasn't going to deny it.

By the time they put the sleeping bags side by side, the girl wrote again:

_My name is Elisabeth._

Elisabeth. That name that his older self had spoken to him about with such adoration. Again, he felt something sting inside of him, like a scream. He smiled at her tenderly, and wrote back.

_I’m Noah._

Elisabeth felt a warm uneasiness floating within her after reading that strangely familiar name, but she didn’t question her feelings. The last thing she wanted to do at that moment, was to think. She just wanted to sleep and forget, if only for a moment, that she no longer had a family.

They laid back calmly, knowing that from now on they would be together, whatever the future held for them. Life was silent. They didn’t even perceive the quiet sound of some insect lost among the rocks. In the dark, Noah heard Elisabeth's intermittent gasps. It took him a moment to understand that she was crying. Her life before the apocalypse was gone. It would disappear more every day.

But before the crying ended to put her to sleep, Noah wrote her one last message to remind her that she wasn’t alone.

_I’m right here._

∞∞∞

The next day, their moods didn’t improve much. Elisabeth was still absorbed, staring blankly and not communicating at all. She was like possessed, overwhelmed by a powerful reluctance. Noah knew that he would have to push her if she were to survive. If he didn’t manage to feed her, he would surely lose her.

During the months the young man had been in the twenty-first century, he had collected a decent amount of canned food, so he had options to stimulate Elisabeth's appetite. Thinking of what to offer her, he chose the can of spaghetti, a meal that would appeal to most. He opened it and held it in front of the girl, hoping that she would take the initiative to eat, but she didn't.

“Please.” He insisted, making the food sign. She was motionless.

To convince Elisabeth, Noah took some of the food and tasted it in front of her. It was safe for consumption. But when she shook her head, Noah had to resort to using the notepad.

_If you don't eat, your body will weaken. You could get sick. At least give it a try._

She read it, but her arms remained crossed. Noah sighed with concern and wrote again.

_What can I do to change your mind?_

This time, he got a different reaction. Now there was a sense of purpose in Elisabeth’s gaze and her lips were drawn back as if to bite. There was hope. Without waiting for Noah to pass her the notepad, she took it from his hands and replied holding back the emotion that wanted to emerge from her eyes.

_My dad is dead. He was killed in the trailer._

Yes, he knew, but he couldn't tell her. All he could do was stay by her side and share her suffering until she found comfort. He lowered his head slightly, submissive and solemn like a guardian angel.

“I’m very sorry” He pointed to himself and then made the sign of the word sorry. He was being honest, speaking from the pain of his memories.

She nodded reluctantly and wrote one last sentence before handing the notepad back to Noah.

_I want to bury him._

So, he was still there. Judging by how apprehensive he had been of his daughter; he had died protecting her. And for that Noah would be eternally grateful. There was nothing he could do but support Elisabeth's wishes.

_You finish eating and I promise you that we will go to the trailer and bury your father. Deal? He would support me on this one._

Noah made an excellent point, something Elisabeth's pride didn’t like to admit.

“That's cheating!” She signed emphatically, but Noah didn’t understand what she meant. He lacked practice, but before he could ask Elisabeth what she had said, she wrote it down for him. He then smiled, but his smile, while triumphant, was gentle.

_Deal._

This had better be the best spaghetti she had ever tasted.

∞∞∞

Between the darkness and the fog, they caught a glimpse of the trailer. As if they were going to war, they took the precaution of arming themselves. Noah gave Elisabeth a hammer, thinking of an effective defensive tool to use at close range, and he armed himself with a metal bar he had found under one of the trucks. Stealthily, they approached the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. While the trailer was likely to be abandoned, just in case it wasn’t, they had to be prepared.

Before opening the door, Noah looked over his shoulder and motioned for Elizabeth to wait behind him. He needed to make sure there was nothing inside that trailer that could harm her. Nothing except for the horrors she already knew.

The young man felt an icy blast on the back of his neck as he opened the door and stepped into the trailer. Death remained floating in the air, like a ghost. He quickly looked around for threats. Although he distinguished two bodies, no one looked back at him except for one man.

_Peter_.

Not two days ago, the man who now laid bloodless in the bathroom, had been eagerly looking for his family and warned Noah to stay away from Elisabeth. Now he was lying there as if imprisoned, motionless, against the cold, stained wall.

Noah approached the site of his death and looked, for the third time in his life, at the face of a corpse. A discolored face, devoid of all feeling. As a sign of respect, the young man closed Peter’s eyes and covered them. His daughter would be safe. Now, he could rest in peace.

“You’ll come back to life. I promise.” Noah whispered as if he could wake him up with the sound of his voice.

Paradise would be waiting for him too.

Not wanting to leave Elisabeth alone any longer, Noah walked to the door and nodded to her. It was safe. But before she could set foot inside the trailer, the young man got under the door frame and made her an offer.

“Don’t. I’ll take care.” He said, sharply and accompanying with his hands. A part of him wanted to spare her the pain of seeing her father’s lifeless body again, but the other part was certain that she wouldn’t allow him to make that decision for her.

It was a generous gesture, but Elisabeth didn’t accept it. She pushed her way inside, nervous, but determined. Something told her that if she didn’t see her father’s face before saying goodbye, she wouldn’t be able to cope with his death. Refusing his departure would only make it hurt more, because at some point his absence would collide with reality, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle that.

A cold breath struck her forehead when she saw Peter. She remained still, motionless, as if she had just awakened from a dream she did not quite understand. With his eyes closed he seemed to be sleeping. It wasn't a bad idea to remember him like that. She wanted to imagine that he was dreaming of her sister and her mother, free from worry. In peace at last.

She folded her hands around her father's and gave him a last embrace. The contact was cold. He was gone. Peter had given his life for her. She understood that she couldn’t give up after all he had sacrificed for her. He had truly fulfilled his duty to her as a father. Now she had to fulfill her duties as daughter.

She turned her head when she felt her shoulders being touched. There was Noah, following her closely with his eyes, as if looking for some wound on her skin.

“I’m fine” She signed. Noah nodded.

It was when she slipped out of her father's hands that she realized she was stronger than she thought.

Trying to move on, they began to search the trailer for any object that could help them both to bury the body and to survive. There wasn't much of use, but it would have to do. They put aside the canned food that was left, a few blankets, and a couple of pots. It was in one of the drawers that Elisabeth found a white sheet, soft to the touch. It was the most dignified thing she could find to cover Peter's body with.

When they were about to lift Peter's body, Noah remembered that there was another corpse in the corner of the trailer.

“Was he the one who killed your father?” He asked pointing at the burglar’s body, suspecting he already knew the question to his answer.

Elisabeth nodded. Now the scene made sense in Noah’s head.

“You did this.” He continued, emphasizing each of the words with a concerned look on his face.

Wanting to convey his thoughts clearly, Noah expressed a need to communicate his words through the notepad. Elisabeth shortly realized this, and as soon as he had it in his power, he quickly, almost furiously, wrote a single question.

_What did he do?_

She instantly bit her lip. She dreaded that question because she was the only one who could give it an answer. Looking up, she noticed that Noah was still staring at her. There was no point in trying to avoid answering, because she had the feeling that he would not let the matter go. Resigned, she wrote the horrid truth.

_He tried to rape me._

Suddenly a vague but enveloping darkness fell from Noah's eyes, lending his face an almost supernatural look. With that same voracious, violent, and definitive energy he turned his head and got stuck looking at the corpse of that man. It was as if he could wipe him off the face of the earth with the blink of an eye.

_“If you knew what I know now, you wouldn’t do what you must.”_

The voice of his older self came flooding back into his head, putting another piece in its place.

“He… tried… what?” He whispered without adding any sign. He seemed to be in dialogue with himself. His fists clenched tight around the metal bar.

He could have beaten him to the ground until there was nothing left of him. He could have offered him as a treat to hungry animals outside. He could have ripped his head off and left it in the sun to rot. He could have… But then, Elisabeth clung tightly to his arm, bringing him back. Her eyes looked up at him pleadingly, as if he was her last hope. And he was. It was the plea of a girl who wanted peace at last. There would be time for retaliation. For now, she just wanted to say goodbye to her father.

∞∞∞

They chose a spot in the forest as a tomb. Noah had to be quick to remove dirt, using his previous experience with digging to finish the job before nightfall. It wasn't the first time that he had dug a grave. When he came from, people were used to learn a little about everything, from carpentry to healthcare. But he hadn’t yet fully comprehended how valuable such knowledge would be in the post-apocalyptic era in which he had ended up.

Both he and Elisabeth were very quiet throughout the excavation. They understood that in such a situation it was better to give the deceased the respect he deserved. By the time Peter was buried, Noah and Elisabeth stood side by side in front of the grave for a while. For her it was a farewell, but for him it was reopening old wounds. This scene was familiar, but he couldn't stop to think about it. It wasn't his moment, it was hers.

After some minutes, Noah used the notepad again.

_My condolences. I didn't know your father, but I know he cared about you._

The girl appreciated his words. It was curious. She had long wondered if her father loved her as much as her mother. He always seemed to have his mind elsewhere, away from family. She even believed that she wasn't that important to him. Now she even felt guilty for having thought that way.

_Thank you. I already miss him. At least now he is with my sister and my mother._

He had also been through that stage. Maybe that's why he felt the urge to give her hope in his next message.

_You’ll see them again, in paradise._

∞∞∞

When the sky was almost orange, the survivors knew it was time to go. With their items collected and prepared to be taken to the cave, they were ready to go, but there was one thing left to do and it had nothing to do with supplies.

“You don’t have to watch this.” Noah warned, moving his lips little by little.

“I want to.” She signed, insisting on staying.

With a sigh, Noah accepted Elisabeth's decision and focused on what he had to do. He yanked on the rope as hard as he could, gritting his teeth with the effort and hurting his hands. It was incredibly heavy. He had to pause between stages, but he managed to do it. Breathing fast, he tied one end of the rope to the nearest tree and walked away to check that everything was in order.

There, in the middle of the forest, hung the body of the burglar. It was a gruesome image, but incredibly satisfying for both. Someone like that didn't deserve rest, burial, or ceremony. Hanging there like a piece of waste in full view was what he deserved.

After wiping the sweat from his forehead, Noah wrote again.

_This will help ward off strangers._

Elisabeth could understand the logic behind it, but a very reasonable fear made her hesitate.

_What if they get close anyway and harm us?_

Noah knew there was no way to prevent it one hundred percent, but he could take other measures.

_If they dare, they’ll keep him company._

A very subtle smile crept onto Elisabeth's face without warning. A ray of light in the middle of the shadow. She looked at Noah gratefully. It was nice to feel that there was someone taking care of her.

∞∞∞

They were exhausted when they got back to the cave, laden with items. Their first impulse was to drop into the sleeping bags, but they preferred to use what was left of their energy

to get the supplies in order first. After they did, they were finally able to lie down and relax.

Noah was about to close his eyes when Elisabeth touched his shoulder and passed him the notepad.

_Did I do bad, killing that man?_

Noah shook his head instantly, trying to remove any doubts and regrets Elisabeth might have. She was a good girl, he could tell. And as a good girl, it was normal for her to question whether she had done the right thing or not. That was why he was blunt in his answer.

_If you hadn’t killed him, you would be dead or worse. No one can judge you for that. I won’t._

A warm relief settled in Elisabeth's chest, stripping her of some of her anguish. The guilt was part of mourning, a feeling that would stay with her for a while but having Noah by her side helped lighten the load, and it was reflected in her next message.

_I need to teach you sign language, so you can improve. If we continue like this, I will run out of paper._

“I agree.” He said, smiling at her the same way he had when they exchanged their first notes.

He watched her take in a good amount of air before writing again. He could tell that she was going to touch a delicate subject.

_Have you ever killed someone?_

There it was. Raw and without nuances. A direct, non-hinting question just like her. It wasn't a comfortable subject for Noah, but if he wanted Elisabeth to trust him, he would have to be frank. The line of the pencil became heavy, but real.

_Yes. Once._

Elisabeth couldn't read those words without biting her lip. A gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by the young man at her side. It was there that Noah realized that he was more afraid of her rejection than of any danger out there. He expected her to run away or at least back away, but to his surprise she took the pencil and replied.

_A bad person?_

Of all the flaws Noah could list, none came close to that.

_No. He was a good man, even naive. Too much for a world like this._

Guilt surfaced again. An almost palpable fragility emerged from Noah's eyes, much to his dismay. He thought that feeling had completely vanished, but it was still there, driving him crazy every time it returned. Tears were pouring out relentlessly, but that didn’t stop Elisabeth. It made her even more curious.

_Do you think you did the right thing?_

Why did she have to be so smart? Why couldn't she be like other girls her age? Couldn't she just exclaim "oh" and settle? He answered himself that she would never be like the others. Not for nothing he had this desire in his chest that drove him to take care of her.

It took him few minutes to respond. It was not a simple question. He even had to cross out a few words to avoid misinterpretations. He didn't want to give her any more nightmares. It became more and more difficult to pass her the notepad.

_I don’t know. I guess we don’t always make choices. Sometimes we do what we are told to do, because someone we trust told us that it was the right thing to do, and then you can’t explain why you acted that way._

Hanno missed his father. He missed him so much. He kept seeing his face. The guilt was still haunting him. Although, he was sorry that he hadn’t raised him better. If he had, maybe he wouldn't be so confused about what was right and wrong. He wouldn’t have to follow anyone but himself.

After reading Noah's response, the girl's gaze conveyed genuine compassion for him. She didn't feel capable of judging him for a past she didn't know, but she needed to shake off a doubt if she was going to stay with him from now on.

_You are not bad, are you?_

He still asked himself that question. If he forgot everything; Sic mundus, the parricide, his longing, his torment. If he resigned himself to living cursed and purposeless as before the promise of paradise, perhaps he would regain peace. But he was unable to give it up, because he kept looking for the good. Was it because there was something good inside of him? That had to be it. He struggled to reach paradise because it was his only hope for forgiveness, to live with those whom he had lost as a good man. The next time his family saw him, they would be proud of him.

_I don’t think so. I try to do my best. It’s hard now, though. In conditions like ours, sometimes we must make tough decisions._

Elisabeth immediately remembered telling her father, after months of searching, that she didn't want to keep trying to find her sister and mother. It had hurt him, but at that moment it was the only way she could think of to stop that useless obsession. She had said those things for the greater good. She supposed the same cause had motivated Noah to act the way he had.

The last message from the girl made Noah's heart skip, as if fresh energy had been poured into him.

_But you make them to protect yourself and to protect me._

He was unable to suppress the thoughtful smile that spontaneously appeared on his lips. An authentic gesture, an effect of the trust she was placing in him. He did not feel worthy of such a feat, but time was wise. He wouldn't be talking to her if time wouldn’t permit it.

“That’s right, little one” He said before pointing at her. “I’ll protect you.”


	2. Belonging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is unique is difficult to explain and almost impossible to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the comments and the kudos! I share with my husband every comment. Writing this fanfiction has been a tremendous journey, because I am dealing with characters that I respect a lot, and with a very well written universe. DARK is an amazing show that challenges us even after watching. I hope you like this chapter.

Noah was a patient student. More patient than anyone else Elisabeth knew.

He paused between signs or the signs, and took a deep breath before imitating them, as if he were trying not to be overwhelmed by the information that he was processing in his head. Every time they’d start a new lesson, he would rest his hands on his knees, as if he were going to meditate. If he got frustrated when he made the wrong sign, he did not show it, or he would express it in such a subtle way that most people could not notice. Perhaps that was what had caught her attention about him the most: that he had considerations that she had not asked. Something only her parents had ever had with her. That she would not dare to ask either.

During the time they had been together, Elisabeth had already memorized some of his most common gestures, like staring into her eyes for a few seconds and then smiling without explanation. It was as if he kept a secret with himself and enjoyed it. If she asked him, he said he was just paying attention to her teachings. His hands were slow, but precise. In the distance, it looked like _he_ was teaching _her_. Elisabeth liked to follow the path he drew in the air, wondering how it was possible that those were the same hands that ravenously ravaged the earth of the tunnel.

“You keep confusing _sick_ with _thirsty_.” She signed to correct him.

“Sorry. They are similar.” He said, fixing some of the hair that was bothering him on his forehead.

Elisabeth shrugged, dismissing the mistake. There was no problem. It wasn't like they were in a rush. Why rush? For what? Not to get to work early or to get catch the school bus. They had Winden for themselves twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. It was no wonder Noah had dramatically improved his skills in sign language. His only concern, besides getting food, was digging.

Holding up the word on her notepad, Elisabeth repeated the lesson for him.

“Sick” she signed, patting her chest with her palm half open. Then, she brought her hand up to her throat and caressed it with two of her fingers. “Thirsty”.

She was usually quicker at expressing herself, but when it came to teaching Noah, she was calm. Conveniently and unexpectedly, her silence and his patience somehow matched.

“Sick. Thirsty.” He repeated with his own body, sliding his fingertips over his Adam's apple.

Of the differences Elisabeth noticed between their anatomies, that was one of the things that caught her attention the most.

“What?” Noah asked, noticing the funny way Elisabeth was looking at him.

“My dad had that thing too.” She signed pointing to his neck.

“This?” He asked touching that area again.

She nodded.

“None of my classmates had it.”

“It’s because it appears little by little, as you grow older. Women have one too, but it doesn't grow as much as men. We change in different ways.”

“Will I change too?”

“Someday, but don't worry about it now. You are still a little girl.”

Elisabeth rolled her eyes and sighed in annoyance.

“I hate being called that.”

But then, Noah’s words awakened a feeling of nostalgia, reliving some memories she thought she had left behind. Her gaze drifted to the ground and her mind reverted to those moments before everything changed.

“What’s wrong?” Noah asked, as he moved a little closer.

A lot of things, but there was one thing that hurt her more than any other.

“Six months have passed, and I can't believe they are not here.” She signed thoughtful.

“You miss _those_.” He signed wrong.

“ _Them._ ” She corrected. “I do. I still love them as much as I ever have, it’s just that I would like to touch and hug them again. I wouldn’t mind arguing with my sister, even though mom wouldn’t talk to us after.”

Noah could relate. Whenever he got into trouble, his father ignored him, as if there was no point in disciplining him. His mother was the complete opposite: she did not miss a single sign of disrespect. She was strict but loving. At first, he hadn't understood why his mother insisted so much on teaching him sign language in a town where deaf people didn't exist, but now he appreciated it. Every path he had taken was starting to make sense. That’s why he knew exactly what to say.

“It’s not a farewell. You will see them again.” He assured her.

At first, she thought he was saying it to comfort her. It was a sweet gesture, even if it didn't change anything. But when she saw the determination in his eyes, she hesitated.

“How can you be so sure?” She asked.

That was the right question, one that had to be answered with the utmost care. A single misplaced word could jeopardize salvation.

“Are you sure you want me to tell you? It won’t be an ordinary story.” He warned her.

But Elisabeth was determined to know what was behind that deep gaze and solid willpower. She nodded without hesitation, feeling ready for whatever may come her way.

“When I was a kid, my father took me to a place that I had never seen before, hidden from the rest of the town, underground. It was the headquarters of a secret society called Sic Mundus. He told me not to tell anyone, that I could get in trouble if I ever opened my mouth. It didn’t take long before I understand why.” He stopped for a few moments to check that everything was in order. “Did I sign it right?”

“You did. I understood.” She signed back.

Good. She wasn't mocking him or shaking her head. It was a good sign to continue.

“There was a man in that place named Adam, the leader of Sic Mundus. He spoke of a prophecy, a promise of salvation. He said that we would be brought to paradise, a place where we all live, if we were to follow his path.”

To Elisabeth, that sounded too good to be true.

“Did you believe it?” She asked without knowing whether to feel pity or hope.

“At first, I didn't believe a word. He knew that I didn’t trust him, so he made predictions of the future to gain my trust. Then, they began to come true. One after another, they came to fruition. And they weren't similar to the events Adam had described: they were _exactly_ the same. The day, the time, _everything_.” He said hopefully, with increasingly broad signs.

“So, he must have seen the future. And now you follow him.” Elisabeth deduced.

“That’s right. After that, he sent me to the path that was predetermined for me. That’s why I am here, digging in the tunnel day after day, to fulfill my part in the plan, so that paradise opens.” Noah signed.

It was impossible to hear something like that and not start connecting the dots. That was exactly what happened to Elisabeth. Her brow twitched, her gaze circled the corners of her eyes, and her mouth parted at the end of her reasoning.

“I see. You are not from this era. You travelled in time.”

It made sense. Elisabeth suspected that Noah's personality didn’t exactly fit with her perception of the average person. He was so proper and delicate with her. She couldn’t imagine him being friends with Magnus and even less with her sister Franziska. They could never be friends anyway because they were from different times.

When she thought Noah couldn't say anything more surprising, he revealed something else to her.

“I travelled as you did once.” He assured her, calmly.

The girl was stunned, feeling completely exposed. Her heart skipped a beat and her mind honestly wondered if there were any secrets she could keep from this boy.

“How do you know that?” She signed urgently.

“Adam told me.”

“What else did he tell you?” She asked intrigued.

“Exactly what I had to know. No more, no less.” He said, stretching his hand to place it on the girl's shoulder. “I know you must have hundreds of questions right now, like I did, but don't worry. They will be answered when the time is right.”

That was the worst news anyone could give her, because there was nothing she could do to anticipate it. It wasn't up to her. It was beyond her control. She rolled her eyes and flopped back onto the sleeping bag.

“I hate waiting.” She signed.

“I know you do.” Noah smiled, stroking her head.

That had been intense, and it was just the beginning. More questions would come in the future. Noah knew, he had to be prepared.

“We better go to sleep. Tomorrow I have to keep working on the tunnel.” He said while settling down to rest.

Elisabeth rolled over to look into his eyes.

“Don't you get tired of digging all day?” She asked.

“It is not that bad. Sometimes we have to bear the cross, no matter how heavy it may seem.”

“Would you mind if I helped you dig?”

Noah thought about it for a few moments. He couldn't imagine a little girl doing such heavy work without fear of her getting hurt.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. It could be dangerous. There isn’t just heavy stones to deal with. There could be a landslide, and if something were to happen to you...” He shuddered at the idea.

“Please. That way it will be done sooner. Besides, I need to do something with my time. I can't stay still all day.” She insisted, pleading with her eyes, something she knew Noah couldn't ignore.

He covered his forehead with a hand in a vain attempt not to give in to her.

“Fine. You can help me, but you will have to do everything exactly as I tell you. You will listen to me, no matter what. No arguing.” He signed emphatically.

“No arguing.” She repeated with victorious a smile.

“Don’t make me regret this.” He sincerely hoped he had made the right decision. “Time to sleep. Now we’ll both need to gather our energy for tomorrow.”

As the flashlight turned off, Elisabeth lay in her sleeping bag contemplating what Noah had told her. If the prophecy was true, there was hope. Living in this inhospitable place would not be in vain if they managed to save them all. While she couldn't say she was blindly trusting what a stranger had promised, she did trust Noah. He cared for her with tenderness and measure; if he ever got mad at her, he did it with justice and prudence. Never because he was having a bad day or because things didn't turn out his way.

Noah was about to fall asleep when the girl touched his head, drawing his attention. Half-opening his eyes and in the middle of the gloomy cave, he tried to make out what it was she was trying to communicate to him.

“About that paradise you talked about, my family will be there, right?” She asked scared of getting a negative answer.

“Of course they will.” He whispered.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

∞∞∞

A very particular dynamic took place while they slept. He slept on his back, with a metal bar at the edge of his sleeping bag in case they were attacked. And she, unconsciously, chased his shoulder, seeking refuge, trying to push away the nightmares that had plagued her for some time.

In the morning when Elisabeth woke up, Noah was already up. He got up stealthily, sliding, wanting to let her sleep. He would almost always have something waiting for to eat. It was as if he couldn't get their first encounter in the cave out of his head, when she refused to eat anything.

But that morning their routine would not be the same.

The darkness was about to disappear completely when a metallic noise snapped Noah awake. It was the echo of something, or someone, moving against the rocks in the cave. They weren’t alone. Adrenaline washed over him in a heartbeat. He only had a few seconds to react.

But as he was about to arm himself, he saw the intruder's face. A familiar face, glaring at him.

“Jonas?”

As if it were a ghost, he was suddenly there in front of him.

Noah was surprised. Adam had told him that he would meet his younger self after the apocalypse, but he hadn't expected it to happen in the caves, out of nowhere. Be that as it may, another prediction was fulfilled, and that was always a cause for joy. It indicated him that he was on the right track.

“What are you doing here?” Jonas asked with a trembling voice.

It was then that Noah dropped the metal bar and stood up, knowing that he had nothing to fear. Jonas, on the other hand, stayed alert. He looked lost, trying to process what was happening. Was he hallucinating?

“I knew I was going to see you again, but they didn't tell me under what circumstances.” Noah said approaching slowly.

But Jonas wasn't paying attention to him. Not anymore. His eyes were locked on the resting figure behind them, slowly awakening from its sleep. He recognized that long blonde hair.

“Is… is that…” Jonas stammered, fearing the worst.

Noah looked over his shoulder to make sure they were talking about the same thing. Of course Jonas had to know her. 

“Elisabeth? Yes. She’s living with me.”

And then the unexpected, the amazing, the absurd. Jonas, precipitated by his impulses, violently grabbed Noah by the neck of his sweater and slammed him against the wall of the cave. He was furious. His entire body was tense.

Noah was stunned, a look of outrage washed across his face. He didn’t understand the reason for this aggression. They were supposed to become friends.

“Hey, chill out! What’s wrong with you?” Noah asked, confused.

“What did you do to her, you sick fuck?!” Jonas demanded to know, visibly disturbed.

“Nothing. She is fine.”

It wasn’t enough. Jonas's grip grew stronger.

“I don’t exactly know how things were in your time, but here, we know how to deal with this kind of shit.” He shouted at Noah, in a threatening manner.

“What are you…” Then it dawned on him. His eyes widened in horror. “Wait! You don’t think that…”

He had to be referring to something else. Noah couldn't believe it. But then, Jonas's accusing face confirmed his suspicions.

“I don’t think anything, you bastard. I know what I saw!” Jonas insisted

It was right there and then that Noah shoved Jonas off of him. Now he was not only upset, but also deeply offended. The idea alone disgusted him.

“Have you lost your mind?!”

“A man alone with a little girl, sleeping together. You think I’m stupid?!”

“It’s not like that. She’s just a kid!” Noah said, disgusted by the mere assumption that Jonas thought him capable of doing something like that.

“Since when that has stopped anybody?!” Jonas yelled aggressively.

The struggle subsided and they found themselves staring each other down, face to face, breathing heavily from to the ensuing adrenaline rush. The expression on Jonas’s face was a perfect storm of anger, sorrow, and frustration, intent on consuming him. For a second, Noah thought to be seeing older Jonas face.

Then, out of nowhere, Jonas felt a sharp blow to his shoulder. The impact made him scream out in pain. A jar of canned food rolled on the floor. The young men turned around and found Elisabeth, standing in a defensive position. She was fully prepared and willing to fire off another can if Jonas moved as much as a single muscle again.

“Why did you do that?” Jonas asked, rubbing his arm. Elisabeth signed to him frenetically. “What is she saying?”

“She’s saying that the next one will be aimed at your head.” Noah answered.

Jonas swallowed, unable to say anything else. She wasn’t supposed to react like that. He was trying to help her.

“It's okay, Elisabeth. I got this.” Noah signed to her, before turning to Jonas with a more imperative tone. “Now, if I were you, I'd calm down. She is not as understanding as I am.”

Then, seeing that he had no way out, Jonas lowered his guard and sat down on one of the rocks. It was enough for her to stop threatening him and leave him alone. Noah kept an eye on Jonas’s movements, to make sure he wouldn’t do anything stupid again. The reunion between them hadn't gone as expected, but it was still good news.

“What brings you here?” Noah asked sitting across from Jonas.

“I came to check the state of the passage. I didn't think I'd find you here.”

“Yes, he told me that you’d try to make things right.” Noah said echoing Adam's words. “You shouldn't worry for a while, though. The passage is hidden here, somewhere. I've been looking for it since the apocalypse.”

“Is that why you are living here?” Jonas asked, noticing the supplies around them.

“For now, until the passage opens.”

An awkward silence fell upon them, marking a glaring divide. Jonas was still tense. He couldn't trust anything or anyone, not after the tragedies he'd witnessed. He was followed by a shadow of bad thoughts. He felt cursed, capable of infecting everyone around him, including the survivors in the cave.

Noah noticed how uneasy he was and straightforwardly encouraged him to speak.

“You can ask, you know? You have doubts.”

Jonas bit his lip several times before opening his mouth.

“Her parents…”

“Gone.” Noah finished the sentence for him. “She was with her father for a while, but that didn’t last much. After his death, she came to me in the cave. We’ve been together since then.”

Jonas looked at her and could see a looming darkness residing in her eyes. A darkness that stood testimony to the pain and suffering that would come to consume the Elisabeth of the future. At the moment it was faint, but unmistakable. Worse yet, it was irreversible. She would go through a lot before she became that fearsome leader who ruled over this land. He had a bad feeling about this. He could feel the suffering looming over her again.

“Why?” Jonas asked.

“Why what?

“Why are you with her?” He said with an accusatory voice.

For Noah, that question had the most logical answer of all.

“Why do we do everything else? Because it is what we desire. Nothing we do can make it go away. That’s why we are not free.”

So, he _wanted_ to be with her. It was that simple. For Jonas, that was the most dangerous phrase he had ever heard. By that logic, he could justify anything. After all, Adam's plans were not based on mere intuition; he was certain of what would happen because he knew what others wanted.

“Would you mind if I spoke to her for a moment?” Jonas asked.

Noah's eyes sharpened at the question. He wasn’t a big fan of the idea, but something told him that if he did not agree, they risked exacerbating the misunderstanding.

“You can try. If she agrees to talk to you, I won't object. Modulate well, so she can understand you” Noah added.

Jonas nodded. Then he turned to the girl, who had just finished arranging the cans of food. She looked up at Jonas with her blank eyes.

“Elisabeth. May I talk to you for a moment?” He asked.

The girl took the notepad and wrote a message.

_Speak slowly._

“Are you alright? Has he hurt you in any way?” Jonas asked with concern.

She shook her head insistently. Then, she wrote again.

_Noah would never hurt me._

Jonas's eyebrows shot up in amazement.

“But I just saw you two sleeping together. Right here.”

Elisabeth had to make a clarification.

_Separate sleeping bags._

It wasn't enough to reassure Jonas.

“Still. You were too close to each other.” Jonas said, linking his index fingers. Elisabeth thought he was overreacting.

With an exasperated sigh, Jonas took the notepad to make himself understood in the simplest and clearest way he could think of.

_You child. He adult. Can you see the problem?_

None of that mattered to her. Why should she care? The world she knew was gone, but Noah made her feel at home, like she was part of a family again. He made her feel like she belonged. Why did Jonas want to separate her from her family again?

_He protects me._

There was denial all over his face.

“You don't know him. I'm afraid he may take advantage of you.”

Did Jonas think she was stupid? He didn't know Noah the way she did. Of that she was sure. He had no right to be lecturing her about anything. She didn’t need it, and she sure as hell hadn’t asked for it. Elisabeth, she felt hurt by his accusations. Hurt, because he so callously dismissed Noah and everything he had done for her. Moreover, Jonas had made it clear that he doubted her ability to protect herself.

This time, when she took the pencil, she did it resentfully.

_He cares about me._

Jonas blinked.

“Did he tell you that?” He asked, suspecting that Noah might be manipulating her.

Elisabeth shook her head. She thought Noah didn’t need to say a word for something that was obvious. He would always notice when something was wrong, even if she didn’t bring it to his attention. And when she needed him the most, he would drop everything. She didn’t even need to ask. He was there. For her. He didn’t drag his feet or complain about it, nor would he hold it over her head and expect something in return.

_I know he cares. I do too._

Jonas grabs his head in an attempt to control his growing frustration. He is quiet for a while before he makes a suggestion.

“Elisabeth. Come with me. I’ll take you to Claudia. I don't think you know her, but she is trustworthy. I promise. She’s living at the police station. I know she can take care of you. And if you want to see Noah during the day, you can. I just don't want you to think that living with him is your only option. You shouldn't feel obligated to stay with him."

It was then that Elisabeth stopped paying attention. His offer was ludicrous. Why should she leave the one who had protected her for the past few months for someone she didn't even know? Because she was a woman? That wasn’t enough! It went beyond being safe or not. She was sure that if she left Noah, she would miss him deeply.

_I’m not going anywhere._

She crossed her arms and refused to look at Jonas again. He lowered his gaze in defeat. There was no point in forcing her to go with him. If he did, she would escape at the first chance she got, anyway.

“It’s not my call, is it?” Jonas asked rhetorically. It was not the first time he had tried to prevent the inevitable but ended up failing. There was nothing he could do about it. “I'll be around in case you change your mind. Take care, okay?”

Elisabeth didn't move. She liked Jonas, but at the time she was so upset with him that she didn't even say goodbye.

With that, Jonas turned and walked towards the exit without speaking. Noah followed behind, until they were standing right in front of the forest. Whatever intentions Jonas had coming to the cave, from his gaze, Noah could tell that he had failed. Miserably.

“Happy now?” Noah asked.

But instead of answering him, Jonas voiced his concerns.

“I hope you know what you are doing with her.”

“We are still here, aren’t we?”

“It’s more than that. She believes in you Noah. Don't let her down.”

“I won’t” He assured him.

“Good. Keep it that way. I have seen too much of this shit already. I am sick of it and she must be too. So, don’t you dare harm her, or you’ll have a problem.” he threatened before starting to walk away.

Noah waited for a few seconds, wondering if the seed that would give life to Adam had already sprouted. Judging by Jonas's grim gaze, he guessed so.

“You really see bad intentions in everyone. Don’t you, Jonas?” He asked raising his voice.

Jonas turned around, looked Noah in the eye, and answered confidently.

“In Winden? For sure.”


	3. Reason and Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The passage is discovered. In a world where hope is everything, reason and faith clash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the delay! I took forever. It has been a rather slow episode to write. Between connecting events and describing situations that you imagine could have happened, a whole day can go away.
> 
> Your comments have encouraged me to keep going, despite not keeping up the pace I would like. Hope you like. Thank you for the support.

**2021**

It was the middle of April when they found the passage.

It was everything but an easy task. Several rocks were dislodged during the excavation, both due to the humidity caused by the rains and the loose earth. Physical repercussions were also a problem. Not a problem that could be solved by getting used to the strenuous routine or taking breaks. Sometimes it was even painful to breathe. Little by little, Elisabeth understood that there was no human body capable of resisting those heavy maneuvers without consequences. They just weren't made for it.

But she didn't stop to lick her wounds or look at the calluses on her hands. She didn't notice the lost softness, nor the gray hue of her fingers. She saw what she wanted to achieve. Someday those withered hands would open the gates of paradise. Someday her aching arms would hug her mother, her father, her sister again.

Something twitched in their eyes when they found the doors at the end of the tunnel. They had to look at each other to make sure they weren't dreaming. It was such a shock that they thought perhaps they were still hallucinating, but no. The passage was there, ahead of them. The exhaustion of the last few months, that throbbing pain like a burn, turned into a sweet exhaustion that brought them the calm they needed. They were on the right track.

Elisabeth was thrilled with the discovery, glancing obsessively at the door.

She closed her eyes. Her insides shriveled slightly. She needed the passage to open. It was the closest thing to hope that she had. As long as it remained closed, she would have to deal with the anxiety of a long wait, with no certain end date. She would get older. She wouldn't be able to share what she had learned and her experiences with her parents. They would miss all those moments that made a parent rejoice with pride and hold their breath, until paradise opened.

To think that paradise might not be real was the most terrifying of thoughts. It made a needle-like sensation of vulnerability slide down her spine and coil in her lower back.

She had to believe.

She had to.

Suddenly, she felt the accumulated fatigue fall on her with a single blow. She staggered back, feeling faint.

Noticing that something was wrong, Noah rushed to hold her. He kept the girl against his chest, staring at her for several seconds, while she clutched the ground beneath to avoid losing conscious.

Her fingers twitched and spasmed as she tried to steady herself.

“It’s okay, little one. I got you.” He whispered after examining her for a minute.

Elisabeth stared at him, at a loss. She knew the movement of his lips almost by heart.

“Rest.” He signed.

His intense, pale eyes slid over her as though he were taking note of every detail about her. Something flickered in them when he noticed her hands spasming.

“You’ve given your all, haven’t you?”

∞∞∞

Gathered and free from daze, Elisabeth stared at her mother's watch as if it were going to speak to her. In a way it did. It told her that time passed no matter what, that she had been part of a family once, and not to forget her purpose for getting up every day.

Noah gave her a patient look. It was not the first time he had seen her like this, lost in thought, caressing the metal as if it were an amulet. He had to admit that it did worry him at times, but it wasn't wise to intervene. He had been warned. Everything had its process, and she was no exception.

_“Do not pretend to be her father. She won't need that from you. Nothing will replace her father. She wouldn't forgive you if you tried to replace him. She will have other needs, which will change as time goes on.” His older self said without looking at him._

_Hanno bit his lip and hesitated._

_“How will I know what she needs?”_

_His older self was silent for a moment before he snorted faintly, as if he was going back to his memories._

_“You won’t, but she will”_

Their eyes met and they exchanged a familiar complicity.

"Tell me about paradise." Elisabeth finally signed after several minutes looking at the clock.

He didn't even need to ask what the request was about. That tremor on her lips and the hope in her gaze had no place for anyone else.

“Paradise is free of pain and suffering.” He signed as if he was telling a story. “Any pain we’ve ever felt is erased and all the dead live.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. The promise of paradise had immense power over her. Noah seemed fascinated by her growing faith, by how desperately she wanted to believe.

“Adam will keep his promise. The passage will open.” He assured.

She didn’t add anything; she just kept staring at him until she started to feel vulnerable again. She looked down and put the watch away.

“Do you think it will take a long time?” Elisabeth signed.

“It's possible. I prefer not to have expectations. It makes it easier to cope with the wait.”

“I hope it’s not too long. It's pretty boring when no one is around.”

“What about me? I’m here.” Noah pointed at himself pretending to be offended.

She met his eyes for a moment before cracking a smile and glancing away.

“Yes, but you don’t count. You are old.” She signed amused.

“I’m not.” He defended himself opening his mouth slightly in amazement.

Elisabeth looked him up and down. Noah was more like Franziska's friends than her own, but somehow that wasn't a big deal for her. He didn't make her feel a hindrance, weak, or a fool, like other older boys did. Even Jonas had dared to lecture her, as if she needed it.

“Fine. When _almost_ no one is around.” She rectified. “It is quite different from what I am used to. I'm not only talking about my family, but also about my friends from school. With them, I could do and talk nonsense without being lectured afterwards. It was fun breaking the rules. With you it’s not the same. You take care of me.”

Noah couldn’t help but to feel proud about it.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. I know it’s not the same, but you still can talk to me about anything.” He signed friendly.

“Anything?” One of her eyebrows twitched upwards.

“Yes. Anything. Survival is important, but it is not all there is. There must be other things you want.”

Elisabeth was thoughtful for a few moments. How long had it been since he thought about what she wanted, beyond paradise? Not that morning, nor the one before. And why would she think about what she wanted, if there was nothing to hold on to? Before the apocalypse she dreamed of being a zoologist and writing about her favorite animals, but now those dreams had been burned to ashes. She would have to find new dreams for herself.

“I could start by getting some books. Animal books are my favorites.” Elisabeth signed, her gaze still lost in her memories.

Noah didn't know what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't that. Maybe something like what Agnes asked for every Christmas, like fancy dresses and hair ornaments.

“Do you have a favorite animal?” He asked.

“The fox.” She answered confidently. Her signs were precise and fluid. “I even have a beanie with fox ears. I _had_.” She corrected.

“Funny. Most would say dogs or cats.” Noah signed.

“I like them too, but they are not my favorites.” She clarified, sitting a little closer before continuing with her explanation. “People tend to underestimate foxes, because they are small and not as dangerous as wolves or hyenas, but they are more than their appearance. They survive better in harsh conditions. And you know what? Their burrows may have multiple entrances, tunnels, and be connected to other shelters, even to food storage sites. They do not need lethal bites or be large. I think that's what I like the most about them, that they are clever and smart.”

Noah smirked, a knowing look on his face. “Like you.” He signed, visualizing each of the traits he noticed in the girl. “Clever, smart and small.”

For Elisabeth, it was as flattering as it was insulting. “I’m not _that_ small.” She signed tilting her face with pride.

“And I’m not _that_ old.”

She laughed softly, finally glancing at him. With his messy hair after a hard workday, and the earth clinging to his face he looked more authentic than he ever had before. She found she was enjoying herself, having a good time even under harsh conditions. Noah was there, laughing with her. Elisabeth was almost becoming content with the idea of only being able to exchange silly laughter with her guardian angel until paradise opened.

And she did not know for what strange reason she added one of her most relegated wishes to the list of things she wanted.

“Having a boyfriend would also be nice.” She said, playing with her ponytail immediately after.

Noah looked confused. “Boyfriend?” He didn’t remember that sign. “What do you mean?”

Of course. She hadn't considered that they had been raised in different centuries. How difficult it was to have to explain it to someone else!

“A boyfriend is someone you like a lot, as more than a friend. And that someone likes you back. Mom told me that you can only have one at a time, but I think there are those who don't follow that rule.” Elisabeth signed, trying to remember what they had taught her.

“You mean a betrothal, like before getting married?”

“No! That word is too big.” She signed with determination. “Having a boyfriend or girlfriend means loving and being faithful. No more. There is no promise of marriage or anything. It can end when either of them wants.”

The idea seemed to him as liberal as it was disgraceful, and his parents were more open-minded than any of the inhabitants of his town. Did people indulge in sin like that, so easily? They should not have a parish priest to guide them along the path of good. It was as if they did not fear God. Boy, things had changed in Winden.

“Why would anyone accept something like that?” He asked skeptically.

“Because they feel good, I guess. Nobody bothers. I’m not an expert, anyway. My sister was. She had a boyfriend.” She said shrugging. “I remember a couple of years ago a classmate told me that her brother liked me, but I felt nothing. I didn’t like boys back then. I thought they were cowards.”

Noah understood why. With that personality, more than one silly boy must have felt intimidated by Elisabeth.

“At your age all you need to have is friends. I don't think I like the idea of you having a boyfriend.” He signed curtly, frowning at the end.

“I had a boyfriend once.”

At first, he thought he had misunderstood her, but the look of her superiority erased the doubts.

“No, you didn’t!” Noah's voice echoed through the cave.

“I did! His name was Yasin. I met him at school. He was like me. He communicated with sign language. Unlike the other guys, he always paid attention to my stories.” She signed proudly first, and then with nostalgia. “I really liked him. My Yasin was cute. He would even hold my hands without cleaning himself afterwards.”

Noah felt incredibly uncomfortable imagining Elisabeth with a boyfriend, on the verge of getting sick.

“Tell me you did not do anything beyond holding hands.” He signed expecting the worst.

“I kissed his cheek a couple of times.” Elisabeth answered. “Why? Is it bad to do that?”

His first impulse was to say yes, that she should never do that again, but then a hunch stopped him. Teaching such a young girl that physical contact was necessarily a bad thing could be just as harmful as the attempted abuse she had suffered time ago.

“I wouldn't call it bad if you wanted it, but for me it’s inappropriate.” He answered with difficulty, and Elisabeth frowned at the way he seemed to struggle to even get the right signs. “You only kissed on the cheek, right? not on…” He pointed to his lips.

“No! Gross.” Elisabeth signed with a grimace of disgust.

Noah sighed in relief. “Good girl.”

They remained without exchanging signs for a few seconds, and Elisabeth thought that perhaps the conversation was over. And then, his gaze changed, as if he was planning something.

“What?” She asked.

He met her eyes and pursed his lips. “I hope you enjoyed having a boyfriend, because you’re not getting one again.” He signed.

“Why not?” She demanded to know.

“Because I’m not letting you.”

Had she understood him correctly? But how daring! Not even her mother had forbidden her to have a boyfriend, and Noah thought he had the right to say anything to her?

“I don’t need your permission.” She snapped.

The corner of his mouth curved into a small smile. “You try, and you will see what happens to him.”

“You are the worst!” She signed frantically. If she had been able to scream at the top of her lungs, she would have.

“Yes, I am. And you are stuck with me, so there’s nothing you can do.” He touched her nose with his index finger, teasing her.

“I can escape.” She looked at him challengingly.

“I can follow you.” Noah continued, ignoring Elisabeth’s protests.

“No!” She shook her arms in annoyance.

“I used to go hunting with my father. I was a better tracker than him. It wouldn't take long to find you, I assure you.” He flaunted.

Elisabeth finally gave up, laying back down on the sleeping bag, her eyes locked on Noah.

“Why do you have to be so mean?” She asked pouting with her lips.

Noah looked down at her and smiled. He couldn’t remember when her tantrums had gotten so lovely. At first, he had wondered why they hadn't told him more about his mission, but now he thought he understood why. It was natural for him to take care of Elisabeth, as if he had done it a thousand times, without regretting it once.

“Why do you think? Because you are important to me.” He answered with small signs, as though it were a confession

Elisabeth watched him furtively, not quite aware of what she was seeing. Part of her felt comforted, but the other part felt fear. She afraid that what he was saying came from an order and not from a real feeling.

“Did he tell you to tell me that?” She asked with emotion looming in her eyes.

Noah knew who she was referring to. He shook his head and brushed a couple of hairs off her forehead with his hand.

“I don't think he could have prevented it, even if he had wanted to.” He signed.

∞∞∞

The next day, Noah led Elisabeth past the trees surrounding the cave. It was unusual for them to stray too far, fearing that some stranger would take over the place in their absence, but they had to do so from time to time to stock up on food and other supplies.

Usually the two of them went alone, unless Jonas wanted to join them, which was rare. Most of the time he watched them from a distance cautiously and turned away, as if they were infected. Elisabeth didn't understand what his problem was. She did not remember him like that, his eyes looking so gray. He was no longer the Jonas of the yellow raincoat.

As they walked between the trees, the young girl suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, as she realized that they were not walking the path they always used to take.

Hearing no footsteps other than his, Noah turned to make sure Elisabeth was okay. He had an unreadable expression on his face as he studied her.

“Where are we going?” She asked. “We are not looking for supplies, are we?”

He tilted his head and seemed to be hesitating for several seconds. “Not this time.” He signed. His eyes dropped. “There’s something I have to do. Something I need you to see.”

The solemnity on his face caught her eye, as if they were going to face something serious.

“We are not in trouble, right?” She asked worried. Maybe Noah had spotted bad people nearby and now they had to leave.

And then, he continued walking, resuming his course towards a destination that only he knew. Elisabeth saw no choice but to follow him. They might have been together for more than a year, but it seemed that Noah always kept some information to himself. It gave him an aura of almost spectral mystery.

They reached what was left of the main road. The pavement was already showing the first signs of lack of maintenance. The military had cleared this area long ago. There was no life around except for the vegetation that was struggling to grow. Everything else, both the passersby waiting at the bus stop and the cars heading to work, were gone.

Noah stopped by a utility pole, kneeled on the ground, and motioned for Elisabeth to come closer.

“Do you see this place?” He asked, feeling the earth with the palm of his hand. The girl nodded. “Adam told me to come here the day after I found the passage. There is something buried here.”

“What is down there?” Elisabeth signed.

“If what he told me is true, a gun.” He signed back, feeling his throat go dry.

She nodded again and lowered her eyes in expectation. If Adam succeeded in his prediction, her hopes for reaching paradise would soar. If he erred, her dream of seeing her family again would fall apart.

Having rained the day before, it was not difficult to remove the damp earth, and it was far looser than Noah had expected. It wasn't even necessary to use a shovel, as his hands were more than enough for digging his way down.

Then suddenly, his fingers bumped against something hard, wrapped in what appeared to be a piece of cloth. He looked up met Elisabeth’s gaze, and the surprise in her eyes was as clear as crystal. This was it. It had to be.

Determined, Noah took the object and placed it in his open palm, in plain sight. He was surprisingly calm, but Elisabeth was shivering. With a couple of movements, he pushed the cloth aside and the steel gleamed before their eyes. The girl covered her mouth with both hands, dumbfounded. Another accurate prediction, only this time she was a witness.

“You see? It was written.” Noah signed comforted by the finding. “It was our destiny to be here. We're going straight to paradise. When the time comes, we will be there.”

Elisabeth could see the truth in his eyes. When his pupils were dilated like that, her fears vanished. His gestures had that calming effect on her, and she couldn't explain why. She had never been a fearful child or felt less than the rest, but the apocalypse had shown her that she was not invincible. Maybe she couldn't believe in her world anymore, but she could believe in the paradise Noah spoke of, something that was above their human flaws.

Her only qualm was the gun in Noah's hands. Why had Adam given it to him? What was he going to do? She was curious.

“I don't like guns.” She signed, looking at the steel suspiciously.

Noah tilted his head to the side. “That's fine. Its sole purpose is to shoot, that is, to destroy whatever you are aiming for. That's why you have to be careful with them.” He signed before removing the gun from the girl's sight. “Did your parents have any?”

“I don’t know. If they did, they never showed me. But I know my mom knew how to shoot. She was the chief of police.” She signed proudly.

A female police chief? Since when that was possible? Noah blinked. It would be unthinkable for something like that to happen in his time. Not that there was anything wrong with it per se, but it just didn’t sit right with him. Something from an utopian world. He didn't think Elisabeth was lying to him. Perhaps from that information he could make her understand.

“Was your mom a good or bad person?” He asked.

“The best person in the world.”

“And why do you think she knew how to use a gun?”

Elisabeth almost rolled her eyes. “It's obvious, silly. She had to stop the bad guys. That was her job.”

He nodded, proving his point. Bad people were everywhere, and in all times, but without law or police to prevent evil, they were more dangerous than ever. And who were they more than a girl and a young man in a barren land?

“If we run into a hostile group and they have a gun, our weapons will not be enough to protect us. Our only option against them is another gun.” He said before looking down at the piece, to make sure it was in a satisfactory condition. It appeared to be fully functional.

Elisabeth bit her lip. Her mother had told her not to go near the guns, that they were not a toy, that she could hurt herself or others. She understood that the situation they were in required drastic measures, but that didn't mean she liked it. What if someone took Noah's gun and shot him? The girl trembled just thinking about it. They could take away her food, shelter and even the coat that protected her from the rain. Anything, except him.

She reached up to place her cold hand on his shoulder, brushing against the fabric of his clothes. He looked at her so disarmed that Elisabeth had no doubt that he was with her because that was what he wanted. Understanding her concern, Noah helped her stand up with him.

Empathy was not something that could be manufactured. Adam couldn’t be behind it. He wasn’t almighty.

“Hopefully we will never have to use it.” Noah put the gun in his pocket. “But if we ever need it, we'll be ready.”

∞∞∞

They were heading back to the cave when Noah stiffened and froze near the entrance, his expression becoming a mixture of disbelief and stealth. Elisabeth stared up at him nervously.

Jonas had been waiting for them.

“I need to talk to you.” He said. His eyes were more tired than usual.

On instinct, Elisabeth clung to Noah's hand. She wasn't afraid of Jonas. From what she had heard of him, he was a good boy, but she didn't trust his instability. It was as if at any moment he was going to break and drag the rest with him.

Noah scoffed and looked heavenward. “You ignore us for weeks and now you want to talk?” He didn’t get it. “If you want to go for supplies, come back another day. We have enough for now. If you came to try to convince Elisabeth to go with you, you’re wasting your time. She won't go anywhere.”

Jonas stood for several seconds with his eyes wandering. After a while, he looked at Noah and spoke again. “That’s not why I came.” He whispered, almost inaudible. “I came here because I need help."

“With what?”

“I've been working on something. Claudia and me. Something that can fix all this, so that everyone lives.” He paused to think of the best way to describe the person he just mentioned. “Claudia is…”

“I know who she is.” Noah interrupted. “Adam told me about her. He said she’s not trustworthy.”

Jonas swallowed hard. “What other option do I have but to trust her?”

“You know what.” Noah took a step forward. Then, he felt Elisabeth tug at his coat, demanding to know what they were talking about. “In a moment.” He signed to her.

Jonas didn’t move. He didn’t know what to do. Internally, he was fighting against himself.

“Do you expect me to believe in paradise?” He asked, almost smiling in sheer frustration.

Noah shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “I don't expect you to believe in anything. I want you to realize that the path you have chosen is not more rational than mine. You chose to put your faith in a woman you don't know, and I put mine in a place I've never seen before.”

But the future Jonas had seen wasn't heavenly. It was not a paradise in any sense of the word. War and death were what awaited Winden if he didn’t put a stop to this madness in which they were inserted. He couldn't sit around waiting for an uncertain utopia to be realized. He had to take fate into his own hands.

“We are trying to stabilize the God particle, in the factory.” Jonas continued. “If I could travel back in time with what I already know, I could make everything right. A definite solution."

Noah listened to him with a distant, thoughtful look on his face, as if he somehow knew much more than Jonas about all of it; as if his own knowledge was direct and personal, while Jonas's was a matter of observation and a deduction that didn't quite hit the mark, even though it aimed fairly close. But he was not going to give himself away. If Jonas could find the answers he was looking for, so be it. Noah would remain undaunted and unflinching, as they had taught him to be.

“I am inclined to think just the opposite.” Noah said. “Time travel is just a tiny bit of what gives life to this loop. It’s far from a solution. Our futures already exist, as do also the steps we will take to reach our future selves. There must be something that can break the circle, alien to everything we know. Paradise is the key. The only way we can stop the loop and save ourselves.”

Jonas wanted to scream at him at the top of his lungs to stop believing in that stupid fantasy that would bring nothing but torment to that inhospitable land. Sometimes he wanted to hit him to take out all his frustrations on him, from her father's suicide to Martha's murder. But there was no point. Not with Noah, indoctrinated by Adam from an early age.

He closed his eyes, breathing out. “Please, Noah.” He insisted with his voice increasingly muffled. “It has been hard work. Claudia hasn't complained, but I know it's too much for two people. Nothing will happen to your precious paradise if you help me.”

“My problem is not helping you. My problem is helping _her_.“

“Then help me and not her.” Jonas opened his eyes, finally glancing at Noah, even though he just wanted to bury his sight underground. He did not have the strength to continue arguing.

Suddenly, Noah felt Elisabeth tug at his hand insistently, more than before. Their expressions were making her uneasy, as if a catastrophe were going to happen if she didn't intervene. Her face gave off anguish and insecurity. She needed to feel in control again.

“Give us a moment.” Noah told Jonas before taking a few steps back with the girl.

Using exclusively sign language, Noah explained to Elisabeth what was happening. Jonas stared at them trying to guess what they were saying, but they were going too fast and he couldn't read their lips. What he could deduce was that Elisabeth seemed to have a more conciliatory position, from the way that Noah softened his features after she signed to him. They had a curious dynamic. For a moment, Jonas forgot that he was seeing a future cult leader and a potential child killer.

They turned to him after a few minutes, with determined, almost twin glances.

“Very well. I'll go to meet her. Elisabeth is coming too. But I make no promises. If I notice anything that bothers either of us, we walk away.”


End file.
